Thursday, 11 September 2008

Y take the trouble?

I have this thing about getting into trouble.

It was my shrink who finally suggested me writing about it as a means of “distracting those troubled waters” inside my head. I thought he had other reasons as I saw him surreptiously “dropping” my file into the “Dormant” drawers.

One often slips on a silly peel of a decision and lands with a THUD or skates one’s way in life and bang head first onto the reality pole. But there’s a balancing act there. There is a THUD and a BANG and you know what you are into.

I am blissfuly ignorant of either and like they sigh and say it, “She just doesn’t see it coming.”

The wee hours of my mornings are often spent fervently having “eyes creaselessly shut” sessions murmuring sentences having common threads of “don’t sent” “by my way” and the like.

My “normalest” of days starts with my house owner seeing me threaten her 5 year old brat of sending him to space. It heightens with me almost being run down by my car lift , slows down a little bit with my boss doing a “PC peep” just when a steamy forward opens up into a full fledged PPS that simply doesn’t respond to “ESC”!!!

Lunch often slips by unless it’s one of those days when I crack a Sardar joke and get a few glares from some “khudi Punjabis” at the next table.

Post lunch hours are again traumatic as the air is filled with Damocles Swords , also known in layman’s terms as “deadlines”.

“You zimbly nevverr cease to amazze me ” says a visibly emotional Mr. Iyer aka my boss, later on in the evening when I tell him that I don’t quite remember the contents of his 789th Post It Note, which in most probability and in the vigour of youth would have flirted and then eloped with the wind out of the open window.

From bird droppings on project reports to the impromptu tear on any taut end of my apparel….it is there with me, like some kind of a mysterious shadow.

Initially I thought I was plain unlucky….but no….just when I think that…am given a fair share of the “nice” side of life. Like the time my boss brought the roof down on something as insignificant as his brain size but stopped short just as our handsome legal advisor passed by. Of course, am given this occasional dekho into the “nice” side of life so that I don’t strangle myself. For, I am a famous optimist. I can even hold onto a thread for life.

From counselling to spiritual getaways, I have done my fair share of exploring in a “quest to find our roots” and if possible uproot any gnarled or knotted ones. In a bid, to unearth the unthinkable I even sniffed the family roots partly out of the probability nerve and partly ‘cos of my unflinching confidence that “Crazy Unc Joe” must have twanged with the strings of my fate.

Didn’t he say so the last time I refused to share my sushi with him? “Aye Lass, I’ll twang your jugular vein so ‘ard , your eyeballs will dance the salsa”. Later that day he was found with a disoriented sushi stuck in his throat. I always felt that was a sign.

Coming back to my safari, other than turn up a couple of sour relatives , my search seemed more like a mirage. I quit my search and like the bad knee, decided to live with it.

Today, in a fit of “troubled moments” I kick off my sandals, push back my chair and pull the curtain chords penchantly observing the souls around me whimpering at the loss of a pencil ,grumble about the dog that barked all night or the kid who spilled milk all over their Lamborghini.

But before I can “tsk,tsk”, down slips a generous portion of the heavy curtain I was flirting with. I move just in time. I smile. Is it really gone?The curse ?I muse to myself….and then from beneath the luxorious satin curtain folds emerges a generous portion of my boss with a heavily tempered “Young Lady, In my room….NOW”

I follow my red faced boss into his room. Am relieved. There is nothing as comforting as normalcy. So why take the trouble?

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